Looking For Daddy? Cute or Nah
Judge Judy recently heard a "gift versus loan" case regarding two men of a significant age disparity who met on a hook-up website. In under three minutes she discerned that these two had likely entered into an unhealthy relationship based solely on sex and money. She didn't like it but, why? Sex doesn't seem to be the likely problem since all relationships gay or straight include that element. Also despite the controversial idea that money is evil, even before currency was established, resources have always been a consideration for mating. Judge Judy's assessment was based solely on their age difference which she deemed inappropriate. Since Judge Judy took both litigants to task equally, the younger for being a user and the plaintiff for looking for love in the wrong places I'm curious to see how she ruled viewing both parties guilty of one moral ineptitude or another.
Judge Judy reminds me of one of those people who ask if I was molested after finding out I like men. I always find it to be disturbing and offensive. The assumption that my sexuality is a result of an unwanted negative interference is outright demoralizing. Unfortunately like most stereotypes, pedophilia is a very real part of many gay experiences. Although I was never sexually abused, I've legally consented to relationships with people considerably older than myself. The only thing I think about when entering a relationship is it's ability to endure. Since I didn't really find love until I met someone my age;I have to ask myself are relationships with older guys doomed from the beginning?
I was raised by my grandfather. As a result I often engaged in conversations with people generations older than me. Although I'm sure they were merely entertaining my inquisitive and spunky nature, I considered these people to be my friends. This trend continues today of course, unlike then I'm responsible for creating and maintaining boundaries. Recently I visited a one of those friend who's struggling with being a gay male of a particular age. Since I have no illusions about my own mortality this subject really hits home for me. He had been upset with the insinuation by a coworker that his preference for men much younger than him equated to him being a pedophile. I can sympathize with this indignation since he maintains that he's never entered into a sexual relationship with anyone who wasn't old enough to consent. Considering he's preparing to celebrate his 63rd birthday; that distinction includes a span that would make many in society uncomfortable. Personally, I don't see the appeal in dating someone much less experienced than myself. Still is this how we reward people who've survived and lost so much over the years by vilifying their submission to our culture's overwhelming idolatry of youth?